Many people go through different emotions after a breakup, and anger is one of them.
Quite often, when you start to experience the anger stage, you’re usually getting closer to recovery. Moving on from a past relationship can be more difficult when you are sad. This happens when you still have powerful feelings and love for someone. Everyone is unique, and some people can hold onto anger for a long time, disrupting their happiness for many years.
*If you are experiencing extreme bouts of anger directed at others, it is important to seek counseling.
During a breakup, feeling angry may not be only directed at your Ex, but also at yourself. You wonder: “Why did I allow myself to be in a relationship with this person?” Why didn’t I see the red flags earlier? Why can’t I find the love I am looking for?“
It can also be ego-driven if someone suddenly breaks up with you. It is very difficult to recover when someone blind-sides you and abruptly ends things out of the blue. This takes a big toll on your self-worth and confidence.
Don’t beat yourself up for experiencing a mixture of emotions when dealing with a breakup.
It helps you to move on much faster when you don’t bury your emotions. Take this time to focus on yourself, be selfish about self-care, and do things that make you feel good.
Try to engage in activities or friendships that bring you joy. Do this regardless of which emotion you’re experiencing during the breakup process. Dealing with anger is challenging. You feel extremely hurt, and it’s difficult to see past the pain. It’s all you think about!
I always use my writing as a tool to express my thoughts. Maybe this is something that would work for you as well.
This exercise can really help you excel during the breakup process. You are not lashing out at anybody, and you are dealing with your emotions more calmly. Jot down the pros and cons of what transpired within your partnership with your ex, and be honest about both sides.
Make it a daily journal and be transparent with your thoughts. Don’t hold back. Continue this process for at least one month and then take a break for a week. Revisit your journal at that time and read everything you’ve written up until this point.
Can you see any changes in your writing? Has your thought process and mindset shifted to a more positive place?
If you’re still feeling stuck after this exercise, I would suggest that you find a counselor to talk to. They have professional insight and also have tools to help you move on from the overwhelming pain you’re feeling.
We don’t all heal at the same time. Please don’t become distressed if it takes you a little bit longer to push ahead after your breakup. There are also many great videos and books available if you don’t want to seek therapy at this time.
I have faced many challenging situations myself over the years. I understand how a difficult breakup can impact one’s self-esteem and confidence. It is not an easy path to endure, and one of life’s more difficult lessons to learn.
Don’t be afraid to make changes in your life, so you don’t repeat negative patterns or unhealthy situations.
Do not regret past partnerships. There is always something to learn about yourself with each relationship experience. Analyze why you chose your partner. Consider what you would do differently next time you are in a relationship.
You now know what you don’t want in a partnership! There is power in knowing what you don’t want. This knowledge helps you have a clear vision of what you are looking for moving forward.
- Change up your environment to add new adventure to your life.
- Remove things from your home that remind you of your Ex. Put photos and videos away somewhere you can’t get at them.
- Remove them from your social media accounts. The less time you think about your ex, the better. Avoid checking what they are up to. Do this as soon as possible. Then, you will be capable of moving on from those memories that are keeping you stuck.
- Change the venues that you would usually visit in your past relationship. Try new establishments that you haven’t been to before.
- Don’t say no when you’re invited to an evening out. The more often you get outside your home, it will also lessen the time you spend thinking of your Ex.
- Ask your friends not to talk about them, and stop yourself from asking questions as well.
- Allow yourself to feel your emotions when you are alone. Be aware of using your friends as a sounding board. (Especially if they are connected to your Ex.)
How do you know when you are ready to start dating again?
- You have worked on your emotional feelings by taking time away from dating anyone and reflecting upon your breakup.
- Your anger has turned into honest reflection. The breakup is starting to make a little more sense to you now.
- You now understand where your anger was coming from, and forgive yourself for having those difficult feelings.
- You give regular energy to self-care, with activities that promote your well-being.
- You have invested time in finding yourself again through self-help procedures. These include watching videos and reading positive books. They help you expand your mindset into a different way of thinking.
- Your feelings have transitioned from anger, sadness, and regret. You now have a healthy emotional availability. You feel open to receiving love in your life again.
- There is no resentment towards your ex, and you’re not spending time thinking about them.
- You take ownership of the part you played in the demise of your past relationship. You understand why you weren’t meant to be together as a couple.
- Your life is full and your feelings of loneliness have dissipated.
- There is a newfound happiness surrounding you, and you are grateful for all of your life lessons.
Every hour you invest in healthy activities is 1 hour less you spend reminiscing about your Ex.
As time goes by, thinking about your Ex will become non-existent. You will begin to understand the unhealthy pattern and lack of boundaries you had in your partnership. You take ownership that you allowed this to continue in your partnership. Moving ahead you have now learned how to venture onto a better path without them.
Be grateful for what you have learned in your past relationship. This attitude will help you evolve. You will appreciate your newfound growth and independence. You will become very comfortable with who you are as you stand alone. Furthermore, you now recognize that you don’t need to be with a partner.
Eventually, you would like to share your life with someone you have a reciprocated loving connection with. You understand there are no time restraints to be in a relationship. You don’t feel pressured, but you are excited about the prospect of dating again.
Your outside interests have expanded, and you enjoy spending time with a supportive group of friends and family. You also enjoy alone time. There is a wonderful balance in all aspects of your life. You have self-respect and an understanding of what you truly deserve.
The biggest lesson from dealing with a breakup is that you learn what doesn’t work in a relationship. Now, you have clarity on what you truly want in a potential partnership.
Sybersue xo <3
Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me @ dearsybersue@gmail.com and message me there to set up a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!
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